Want jokes

A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"

My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?

Me: Yeh, of course.

My Bff: Ok which one?

Me: You know... the black one.

Me: Like my soul...

My Bff: Jeez you ok?

Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?

In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢

There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"

Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"

Why doesn't the police arrest orphans? Because they aren't wanted.

Hey, you might want to look at your butt because there's something coming out of Uranus.

Your mom wants to tell you that you're adopted, but you were an orphan.

By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!

Why did the man cross the road?

Because he wanted to. :) :) :)

Why did the cow cross the road?

'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.

What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.

Want to hear a paper joke?

Never mind, it’s too terrible.

Do you want to hear a paper joke?

Never mind, it is tearable.

Do you want to hear three jokes?

Joke Joke Joke.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to fuck you.

What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.

What do you call a Pokémon that wants to be a police officer?

Magic-cop!

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"

I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.

My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.

You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.

I'll shut up now.