Want jokes
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.
But the punch line is too long.
My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.
Memes
The ham is in fact processed
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
You want to know why Santa brings such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
I don't want to die.
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
What's a convict's favorite song?
"I want to break free."
Tell all the skeleton jokes you want, but I've got thick skin.
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why did Daveon decide to become a magician? Because he wanted to make his problems "Daveon" disappear.
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.