Want jokes
"Bonus, we can even watch a movie and still chat! Love you!
Which one do you want to watch? đ"
Well, I didnât get as high as I wanted to, but Iâm high enough that if I fall Iâd probably break something.
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
Q. Why do Skeletons work hard?
A. 'Cause they want the BONEus.
A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,
Librarian: What are you looking for?
Man: I am looking for a book!
Librarian: Which book?
Man: Facebook.
Memes
When your dad asks what you want for dinner in a group chatâŚ..
Why did the dog want a kiss? Because he can see his knees.
Whatâs something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like youâre not going to make it to your destination in time, so Iâm going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I donât really want to go to the event anymore.
My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.
So I brought her a new bathroom scale.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friendâs funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, âItâs what he would have wanted.â
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.
Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?
Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!
I donât know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, âWhat are you doing in my house?â