Want jokes
You really seem like you don't want to be laughing at that rape joke, but somewhat ironically, I'm forcing you.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"
Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Why did the guy bring a rope to the party?
Because he wanted to hang out... permanently. đđ
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
Want my cookie? Come and get it... đ
What does a ginger do when they want to high five a friend? They clap.
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, âDaddy, am I more Jewish or more black?â The dad replies, âWhy do you want to know, son?â âBecause a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!â
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Shouldâve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! Heâs the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, itâs not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and weâre going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesnât see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
WORLDWIDE RAP: Takinâ a Battery Park tour in Calgary, a Mali rapport and a factory in Lahore in an Annapolis store, Calgary's core, went to Nairobiâs floor and visited Valerie Moore, then bought some Shanghai decor and got salaries in Seoulâs war, studied the Vaticanâs lore, wanted to see Manhattanâs allure and visit the Galilee shore to check Napoliâs score, a tragedy in Warsaw, Palmyra before, check out the cavalry corps, went to a Bali resort, a Madrid encore but had to take a Hackney detour.