An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names the bartender asks. The American says William Matthews. The Asian says Same Ting
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing eachother and I said excuse where is the bathroom and the man said right over there. I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say "Dad I have to go to school soon"
-a beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide-
a homeless man walks by her and says "what are you doing?"
she says "im going to jump"
the homeless man says "if youre going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
the woman replies "no way creep! never that!"
the homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says
"thats fine, I'll just wait til you're at the bottom"
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Guy walks into a bar. Sees a hot girl. Walks up to her and says "your getting laid tonight" She replies "what are you some sort of psychic" He says "No i'm just stronger than you".
I walked in to the doctors surgery and and he said to me "pick a star sign any star sign" "I said Capricorn" He said "Nahh you got cancer"
Two men walked into a bar and one man asked for H20 and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.
Two fish walked in to a wall one said to the other "dam"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Jesus walks in to a motel throws 3 nails on the counter and says can you put me up for a night
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Q. what walks through alleys and has hole in in it. A. batman's parents
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"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying." -Charlie Chaplin
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!". The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
John Lennon: What a nice view
John walked outside.
He got shot
:skull:
Indian guy and American guy in a wheelchair met in a Bar for drinks. American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk. Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these and he replies with "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
i was walking today and i saw a emo with a noose looking up at a tree i simply said " hang on there bud!"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
