Walk

Walk jokes

Woman

  • An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.

    The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."

    Professor

  • An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.

    Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.

    When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”

    With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.

    “Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”

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  • Stroll

  • Baby: Stroll?

    Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!

    Baby: *happily screams*

    Stroller: *front wheels break off*

    Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!

    Baby: Oka- CRASH!

    Ice Cream

  • Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

    The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

    Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

    The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

    Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."

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  • Midget

  • I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

    "Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

    "Bugger off!" he shouted back.

    "What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

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  • Walk

  • Tork Poettschke & Jack London walk down the street together. One asks the other, "May I stand in the middle?"

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  • Tree

  • What is the difference between a human being in the car with the snow and a tree and a walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠 was your name on it haha 😂 day a day I was thinking of a good

    Lawyer

  • Two lawyers are sitting on a park bench, and these two beautiful women walk by. The first lawyer says to the other, “Let’s go fuck these chicks.”

    The second lawyer says, “Outta what?”

    Alien

  • An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.

    The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.

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  • Rice

  • An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”

    The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”

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  • Prison

  • I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

    Orphan

  • Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

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  • Penaldo

  • I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

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