Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone. Then, the birthday boy said "Hey, he's like my dad." "Really" asked a little girl? "I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
An Irish guy walks out of a bar....
A very rich and famous comedian walked in to a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - This vodka isn't good enough for you. - If it is good enough for you it is gudonov for me!
[god creating spiders] God: ok what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls
So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink, the bartender says “I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says “alreight so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says “I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says “ so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says”I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says” so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says” ok here you go” so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink
When you’re walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming “They’re in the fucking trees!”
His name rhymes with walking and talking but he can’t do either
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you.", in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says "Cool, let me try!", and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says "Superman, you're an asshole."
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, ̈Sorry, we don't serve food here."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
A woman walk into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"
2 nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
(Titanic walks into a bar) (britannic) what would you like to drink (Titanic) a ICEBERG.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A blond haired girl, a brown haired girl, and a ginger haired girl were out walking when the came across some tracks The brown haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks." Then the ginger haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way they are definitely duck tracks." Finally the blond haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.
its only ok to beat up an dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say your hair smells nice
