Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma? Bcz there is a family reunion.
A Pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly the man answers I dont wake up the kids.
Why do people shake ciggrate boxes? To wake up the cancer
Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that's my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds "those are my headlights." He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down "daddy whats that?" The dad replies "that's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says "you can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see's them going at it he then yells "mommy turn on you're headlights daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? There dad can’t wake them up
Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock? So he could wake up inside
Your mom is so fat she wake up on both sides of the bed
If your sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell
There are two siblings. A little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night, and take her home. So they get to the bigger brothers house, and walk in his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk bed. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "whenever you feel good, say lettuce, and whenever you want to switch positions say tomato." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato" and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, " can you guys stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayonnaise all over me.
a women wakes up in a hospital after a accident and yells "doctor doctor i cant feel my legs" and the doctor say "i know i amputated your arms"
i had to stop drinking because i got tired of waking up in my car driving 90
Where do pedofiles do when they wake up
Turn on the child safety lock on the car
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning
On Christmas Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap. Joking I know they work hard, they run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.
When does an Emo wake up in the morning? After the rooster says Cutadoodledo!.
A sister went to her brothers room and says Sr:am scared can I sleep with you Br:yes siso Sr:what is this (pointing at his dick) Br:my pet 🐍 Sr:can I pet it Br:yes He wake up in a 🏥 Br:what happened Sr:your 🐍spit on me so I bit his head of Br:you dummy Sr:whaaat
sleep and death are alike it just with death you don't wake up
Yo mama so stupid she tried to wake up sleeping pills.
