Wait jokes

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?

Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

Orphan: About 200 years.

If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?

Long live the quee—Oh wait...

When you ask an orphan to come over:

Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"

Orphan: "Yeah, sure."

Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.

Which do you choose?

It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.

Kid: Imagine being an orphan!

Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*

Kid: WAIT, WHAT!

Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

Friend B: "I was until last night."

Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

Friend B: "Your sister."

Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.

A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"

Dude, has anyone made a joke about small foreheads? Oh wait... they would be nonexistent.

I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.

I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.

A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.

He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.

He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.

Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.

Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!

Orphan: What! No! Please no!

Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!

What's the difference between a zit and a Catholic priest?

A zit will wait 'til 12 before it cums on your face.

I'm so proud of my grandpa, he killed Hitler. WAIT-

OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT. Oh wait, that’s always been there.