Vs jokes
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple? The apple falls from the tree.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You only need 1 nail to hang a painting!
Chuck Norris: "I block bullets with my beard." Abraham Lincoln: "I catch bullets with my skull."
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
Ukraine vs. Russia is CS:GO live the movie!
Man: Die, potato!
Potato: *screams*
I like trains.
Kid: I like trains.
Man: No, wait!
Train: *kills man*
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.
I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
What's the difference between an orphan and a toy?
One is played with.
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
AOT > ur fav anime.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
What’s the difference between women and condoms?
There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.