Vs jokes
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Americans leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
Cotton gets picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
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Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?
The turtle, because it can walk.
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
Everyone has a good heart; they just don't know what to do with it. I say give someone some love. Hate is sooooo stupid. Love is soooo smart!
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can phone home.
What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash its crack and sell it again.