Vs jokes
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
"Sticks and stones break my bones."
A crowbar does it so much quicker.
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
Who will win the war: like for Russia, dislike for Ukraine?
What's the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
At least someone chose Pikachu.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
The baseball player knows where home base is.
What's the difference between a pile of 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
A Mustang Challenger doesn't exist.
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
When I was your age, we had Wacko Jacko, not Florida Man.
I hate double standards. If you burn a body at a crematorium, you're doing a good job. If you burn a body at home, you're destroying evidence.
What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?
A girl actually dates the paper.
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.
Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
What’s the difference between kids and drugs?
I don’t hide drugs in my basement.