Vs jokes
What's the difference between football and rape? Women don't like football.
What's the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can phone home.
What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash its crack and sell it again.
Don't ever say your life is a joke because jokes are actually funny.
What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver? One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.
What did Satin say to God??
"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
Don't say your life is a joke, because jokes got meaning.
Boys are like minis.
Girls are like big pots.
Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.
Did you know an apple and an orphan are different.
An apple gets picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What's the difference between a baby and a potato? 140 calories.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.