Vs jokes
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
What do you call a white kid who kills another?
Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore, it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.
What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?
I don’t have a life.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
Candy is dandy.
But liquor is quicker.
What's the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can chop down a tree.
A tree can't chop down a human.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
What's the difference between an orphan and an orange?
One gets picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
Stephen Hawking said there is no god.
God said there is no Stephen Hawking.