Vs jokes
Chuck Norris and Time had a race.
Result: Time is still running...
The nearest approximation to a perpetuum mobile would be a Swabian chasing a Scot because of money.
(Swabians are the Scots of Germany regarding finances.)
What’s the difference between a pile of corpses and a Mclaren P1?
I don’t have a garage.
What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?
Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
What's the difference between Madlen Makan and Stephen Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead.
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
I hate this website. It's retarded and 4chan is better.
What is the difference between an American and an orphan?
They don't have a home to get their guns.
Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.
Q: What's the difference between a grandma fetish and necrophilia?
A: A few weeks.
Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
What's the difference between babies and onions? I cry when I cut onions.
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
You know sex is better than logic, but I could've proved it...
If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.
You also can't breathe if you die.
So why isn't it debreathiation?
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.