Virgin

Virgin jokes

Priest

Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?

Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5

Jesus Christ

You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.

What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?

Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.

Memes

Stephen Hawking

The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.

Redneck

How do you find a redneck virgin?

Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.

Cow

Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.

Baby

What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.

Terrorist

What did the terrorist say to the 72 virgins?

"Just so you know, 5 inches is REALLY big!"

Friend

My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.

Jesus

Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!

  • 2
  • Rape

    Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.

  • 2
  • Girl

    A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.

    Baby

    What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?

    Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.

  • 1
  • Bitch

    "You get no bitches," said the man to the 60-year-old redneck virgin guy who is obese and balding with "Trump" stuff plastered all over his pickup truck.

    Vampire

    Why do Vampires like virgins?

    Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.

    Sex

    Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!

    (I am still a single young virgin.)

    Suicide

    A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."