Virgin jokes
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
Is your mom a virgin?
Mine is.
How am I alive?
You tell me.
The Virgin Mary wasn't a virgin; she was a prostitute. God raped her.
The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.
Are you still a virgin?
If you do IT
With no one?
When you turn 400 those nasty thoughts sometimes peer in, but if you're lucky, you can be cleansed by the machine spirit by simply visiting your local tech priest.
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
Welcome to our Computer Show.
I'm Mars Argo.
Welcome to youtube.com.
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
What did the terrorist say to the 72 virgins?
"Just so you know, 5 inches is REALLY big!"
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!
Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.
A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.