New Virgin Jokes

What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile

How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?

Because she runs away from balls.

My best friend was Was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one

I lost my virginity to a girl with down syndrome I want my first time to be special

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."

What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you? Your virginity

Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?

Answer; They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men", or a VIRGIN!

Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary. Because she was straight into Jesus

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still cant cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still cant f*ck."

Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love Man: I wish not to die a virgin Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality

Why can't orphans play baseball, they don’t know where home is

I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor Why do orphans like boomerangs, cause they come back

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Girls are like rocks the flat ones get skipped

What an orphans least favorite tv show, Family Guy

If you hit an orphan what are they going to do tell their parents

If you hit an orphan with a car at least you don't have to tell their parents

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father What does a orphan call a family photo, a selfie Why was the orphan a big success, cause people say go big or go home he only had one option Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What do orphans and blind kids have in common, the can’t see their parents

Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt, because they don’t know what a mummy is

Why are orphans bad at poker, because they don't know what a full house is

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? A cherry float.

I have a short TRUE story of how i found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend. when my brother was 12-13 years, he fucked his best friend and i saw it. i was like 4-5 years UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. all i heard was "ahh" and "mmm". the only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". i was so traumatized that i told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "he's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT.. NO YOU DUMBASS. he was playing the game "SEX". more like "GAY SEX". I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that i heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend! i actually got so curious, i opened the door and saw then doing "69". i was blank white after i saw it. i will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it. (just a btw i still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..) (he ain't no virgin not more i guess lmfao.)

(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.

Virginia is false advertising Couldn't find many virgins there

Are you still a virgin If you do IT With no one?

You get no bitches said the man to the 60 year old reckneck virgin guy who is obese and balding with "trump" stuff plastered all over his pickup truck.