Violence jokes
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got excited and asked if I could drive a plane.
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
Bored? Beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
Sonic says: If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.
Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.
Little Johnny paints them black.
Little Johnny went to a gun store.
Little Johnny made a big mess.
The cemetery people were getting paid.
The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.
A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."
If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.
What do you do when you're bored?
Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
I suck on cups so START RUNNIN' CUPHEAD!
Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.