Violence jokes
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.
First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”
Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they're going to tell their parents.
If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?
What do a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown.
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]
What’s the best part of violently raping a sexy 10-year-old girl? Killing the little bitch afterwards.
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
What do you call terrorists in a wheelchair?
An RCXD.
I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.
what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?
alien vs predator
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their mummy?
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
A boner.
Like if your dad is abusive.
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"