Violence jokes
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
What do school shooting jokes and school shooting victims have in common? They never get old.
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?
Nothing, they blew him up.
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.
Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.