What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?
Bathbomb.
Violence Jokes
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."
They laughed at my drawing, so I laughed at their chalk outline.
Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,
You better not be talkin' shit. 🔫
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
Americans: Miles per hour.
Europeans: Bullets per kid...
What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?
Helen Killer.
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
I killed a man in '94.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
