Violence jokes
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
A: She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A. The little girl in my trunk.
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.
There's nothing stronger than love, except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.