Vehicle jokes
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?
'Cause it was two tired!
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
Memes
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.