When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq they asked if I could drive the car
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.
A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.
Race car backwards is race car.
Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
Q: Why did Sally survive the car accident?
A: She hit an ambulance.
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
What's black and has wheels? Black wheels.
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
What's big and yellow and can't swim, a bus filled with children
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus!
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."
The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."
The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
