Vehicle jokes
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Donโt have a bike? You can mount me instead.
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?
'Cause it was two tired!
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
Whatโs the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?
I donโt have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.
A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.