Vehicle jokes
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.
Little Jonny, what you like airplane? How? Because you fly fast and jump high.
What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.
A cop pulls over an old man.
The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
The old man said, "No."
What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?
Hot Wheels.
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
KSI driving ability.
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?
A: Because it was too tired!! 😴😴😴
What’s yellow and can’t swim??
A school bus with elementary kids.
I saw a yellow bus and I knew that some-ting was wrong.
The bus was white.
If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."
What do you call a Mexican who's lost his car?
Carlos.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits a car's windshield at 100 mph?
Its ass.
What is your car's name?
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
There are two Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
A cop.
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.