Vehicle jokes
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits a car's windshield at 100 mph?
Its ass.
What do you call a flying bus?
An Airbus.
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
What do you call a magic car?
A human.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
What do you call a tire that is tired?
A tire, I guess. ❤️
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!
You're so skinny that when you're driving, you have to put the seat forward to reach the pedals. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
Your dad never needed a van for you.
Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.