Vehicle jokes

I go beep like a Jeep.

What's yellow all over and can't swim?

A school bus full of children.

Your hairline looks like a car!

What bounces up and down at 100mph?

A baby tied to the back of a truck.

What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?

I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.

Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...

What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.

What’s yellow and can’t swim??

A school bus with elementary kids.

What's the difference between a pile of 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?

A Mustang Challenger doesn't exist.

What car do elves drive?

Toy-yodas.

Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?

What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.

What is the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage. :)

Hi guys, I'm back, and YES, two jokes/blogs in one day. I KNOW. I just have nothing to do!!! So today I'm going to tell you how to get what you want from your parents!!! And there will be a joke at the end too. Enjoy!

So the prank that I have for you guys today is, make sure you have glue, dye, and a toothbrush that is not yours >:) So you are going to put the dye in the glue and then put the glue on the toothbrush and give it to your sibling and say, "Here. I got your toothbrush ready for you." Then, make sure they take it. Once they take it, run so that they cannot hit you once they taste it.

Thanks for reading this prank today guys!!! I hope it works out for you, and I can't wait to hear what happens with you guys in the comments below, so make sure to comment and tell me what happened when you pulled this prank!! Sorry, Prankster, if this is offensive to you since you do pranks too. I will not do them anymore if you don't want me to :) Thanks for reading guys, and here is that joke I told you about :)

Yo mama is so fat, when she got in the car, the wheels popped.

So I know this was not the best joke, and I can do better, but I will keep trying and see you guys next time! Bye!!! :)

I like fire trucks and monster trucks.

A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!

I want to die peacefully like my uncle, but I don’t own a car or have a garage.