Vehicle jokes

What do you call a Japanese car thief?

Tommy took a motor.

"Hey, today was great!"

"What happened?"

"I ran into my ex today."

"What's so great about that?"

"I was in my car!"

A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.

Paul's favorite car.

A Carrera GT.

I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words...

Oh fuck, it’s a bus!

What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.

What is the same with a duck and a bicycle? The handlebars--oh, except for the duck.

An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"

What is a pirate's favorite ride? A carrr!

I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

A. Because he got hit by a truck.

What are kidnappers' favorite shoes? White vans.

Kaj je pomaranča rekla, ko jo je povozil avto?

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What happens when a frog parks illegally?

It gets toad.

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Corvette in my garage.