Vehicle jokes
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
Memes
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
What is an orphan's favorite car?
A family car.
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.