Vehicle jokes
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?
'Cause it was two tired!
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!