Vehicle jokes
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What color is your Bugatti?
What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
I've been hit by several things in my life.
Sadly, never a car.
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
What’s green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.