Vehicle jokes
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.
A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.
Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
Race car backwards is race car.
Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.
What do you call Stephen Hawking's toes on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.
Q: Why did Sally survive the car accident?
A: She hit an ambulance.
What is the bus?
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
What's black and has wheels? Black wheels.
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
What is yellow and does not float well?
A school bus.
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
What's big and yellow and can't swim? A bus filled with children.