I would name my dog "Five Miles" so I could say I walk five miles every day, but today I ran over Five Miles.
what do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq they asked if I could drive the car
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
“Im the big man, catching the kids in my big van” - Ben 2021
What do you call a bus full of kids, kills killstreak
Heres a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions- My buddies think I'm on the lake Boss thinks I've been sick for days And mama's probably on her way 'Cause I ain't picked up the phone I've been a million places But they're all up in my head Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left I've been gone, I've been gone I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I've been gone Took a trip down memory lane Checked into hotel heartbreak Passed rock bottom on the way Without leaving my living room I've been a million places But they're all up in my head Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left I've been gone, I've been gone I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I've been gone Yeah I've been gone All the clothes are on the floor All the mail's by the door All the whiskey bottles in my bed All the dishes in the sink All the gas is in the tank All the neighbors probably think I'm dead I've been gone, I've been gone I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh) I've been gone (ooh, ooh) Gone
What game consul do emergency vehicles play? Wii U!!!
what did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
meooooow
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the streat?
To get them in his van.
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car. So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side my truck doesn't even have a dent.
I was anonymous, with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*"
What's black and white and red all over? A mime i hit with my car.
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car
A: A suicide bomber
i was listening to wap in my car with my four year old cousin and she asked why they dont fix the holes in the house then my fucking boyfriend what a hoe was and pointed to me i pushed him out of the car and my other boyfriend took the front seat
what's the difference between a school bus and a cactus? on a school bus the pricks are on the inside.
What's a kidnappers favorite White Vans
