How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?
Who can drink 20 liters of fuel without dying? A jerrycan.
What kind of car does Pikachu drive?
A Volts-wagon.
What did the bulldozer say to the house?
"I wanna bulldoze houses!"
I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.
Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?
Why do you say that?
Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.
Wheels on the bus go round and round Round and round round and round Wheels on the bus go round and round All through the town.
Horn on the bus goes beep beep beep Beep beep beep beep beep beep Horn on the bus goes beep beep beep All through the town.
The sheep on the bus goes baa baa baa Baa baa baa baa baa baa The sheep on the bus goes baa baa baa All through the town.
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
What can fly underwater?
A mosquito in a submarine.
I would name my dog "Five Miles" so I could say I walk five miles every day, but today I ran over Five Miles.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq they asked if I could drive the car
Little Jonny, what you like airplane? How? Because you fly fast and jump high.
What kind of shoes does a kidnapper wear?
White vans.
