Vegetable jokes
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.
There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.
They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.
What’s 23 times 2?
A potato.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.
The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
What is a cannibal's favorite vegetable?
- Ladies' Finger
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
What starts with a "v" and ends with a "k"? A veggie Karen.
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.