Vegetable jokes
What do you call a donkey and a potato?
Assround
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
What is big and long and hard?
A cucumber!
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.
I was crying because my dad was cutting onions...
Onions was a good dog.
Why did the tomato cross the road?
To ketchup with his friends on the other side.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.
What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
Q: What's 1+1? 2+2? 4+4? 8+8? Name a vegetable.
A: Carrot 🥕
What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.