Vegetable jokes
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
What is a cannibal's favorite vegetable?
- Ladies' Finger
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
What starts with a "v" and ends with a "k"? A veggie Karen.
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.
What's the difference between babies and onions?
You don't cry cutting up babies.
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?
The vegetable gets picked.
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?
A baked potato.
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?
A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.