Vegetable

Vegetable Jokes

Fruit

If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.

If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.

Part

What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?

Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.

Fetus

Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?

A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.

Onion

I started crying when Dad began to cut onions.

Onions was such a good dog.

Germ

You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the Lysol didn't kill.

Salad

Caesar salad, Jack and Jill, little Johnny Koala,

Zebra, monkey, vegetables, bus, baa, bus.

Anal Sex

What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.

Dog

I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.

Cannibal

A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.

Woman

I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.