Vacation jokes

I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.

The sign on their gate says:

"Clothed Until Further Notice."

Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.

What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation?

"Do you need help packing your shit?"

Where would a snowman go on his days off of work?

Snowhere.

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.

When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"

Why did the tornado take a break?

Because it ran out of wind! 😂

What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?

"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"

Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.

Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?

In hope to find a mummy.

I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!

I went to Pen Island for vacation this summer. There were a lot of bones.

Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.

What do sheep wear to the beach?

A baa-kini.

Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."

A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."