Where did the pig go on holiday?
Snout and about.
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation? Do you need help packing your shit?
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says: "Clothed Until Further Notice."
I went on a one in a life time vacation never again
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel and an alibi.
Where does a pianist go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
The other day my wife said "take me someplace I have never been before, I said why don't you try the kitchen! "
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
One day I was very happy, I managed to win lottery and receive free vacation trip to Saudi Arabia! Everything was going well until suddenly the FRAUD appeared! It was him, PRISTIANO PENALDO! He dived towards me and grabbed my lottery ticket. I asked him why is he doing this only for him to reply "I need trip to Saudi Arabia to statpad the PENS!" as he dived back through my window.
Shame on you for stealing my vacation and ruin my day! You are no longer my Idol Pristianooooo!
Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan. The tour guide said “That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member” Well done Lewandisney
Where did Sally go during the summer swimming
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends. Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot. You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate."
What do elephants drink on vacation? Peanut coladas.
Where does a Pencil go to vacation Pencil Vania
A lesbian couple and a gay couple. We’re going to San Francisco who made it first. The lesbian couple got there lickety-split The gay couple was still packing their shit
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise who gets their first Obviously the lesbian couple they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
I went to pen island for vacation this summer, there were a lot of bones
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross? Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter Vacation.
Your chin is were i went on ski vacation.
