Vacation jokes

Hey guys! Ello here with an update!

I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!

Your chin is where I went on ski vacation.

Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day, and Eve says to Adam, "Let's go for a swim." Adam replies, "I'm not in the mood."

She says, "Okay, I will go by myself." She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says, "The water is beautiful, come in!" Adam replies, "Na, still not in the mood."

Eve wades into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says, "Oh no, now all the fish are gonna smell like that!"

Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?

Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!

Where do pencils go on holiday?

Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)

Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"

Why are there no Jamaicans on the moon?

Because there's no space jam.

Why can orphans travel so much?

They don't get homesick.

Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.

We are going to a country called Bangkok. When we are there, we will Bangkok.

My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.

What is it called when an orphan goes on vacation?

Answer: He's making family memories.

Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.

Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.

Leaving for Disneyland! See you guys on Tuesday!

Wife: Hi babe. Husband: Hey. Wife: Do you wanna? Husband: YES! Wife: Ok, make sure you have a towel to go to the beach. Husband: WHAT? You mean go to the beach? Wife: Yes, what did you think I meant? Husband: Oh, nothing, bye. Wife: Bye, see you there.

Where do fruits go on vacation?

"Pear-is!"

A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.

When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"

Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.

The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."

"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."

The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.

"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."

What’s brown, fuzzy, and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on vacation.