Ups jokes
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
Jack and Jill went up the hill for drunkin' wild sex.
Jack went by Jill to get a lick, and watched Jill get off on a stick.
Jarod (😏): Man, Breya Smith is so hot! The things I would do!
Y'uree (😟): Yes, but... she moved, remember? Her father found a new "job," so she is now leaving until the fall.
Jarod (😞): Ah yes! BECAUSE!!!!!
Y'uree (😯): I don't know, bitch. Maybe she has other things to do, or we can give her a good gangbang before she leaves!
Jarod: (😒): No, I really want to fuck her by myself!
Jarod (🤔): Hmmmmmmm..... mhmmmmmm..... ummmmm..... hmmmmm.... not a bad idea!
Jarod (🤨): Or not?
Y'uree (🙄): Shut up, man!
Jarod (😠): NO, I mean it! THAT GIRL HAS THE BEST ASS FOR ORAL SEX!
Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?
A: Open up its little legs.
I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten, and then I woke up from a nightmare.
I had sex, but ended up going "uuyaahh!"
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
Nostalgia hits you like a train.
It's so hard, you can even wake up.
Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.
Me: But you are not standing:)
What is an emoticon's favorite dessert?
An emochi. (search up mochi)
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Sheshpal Choudhary, Bijnor, UP 6395832240
I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.
Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
Jack and Jill went up a hill
To pick some dill.
Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,
And he needed a painkiller pill.
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.