Ups jokes
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?
A cold shoulder.
Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
Memes
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
Jack and Jill went up the hill each with $20. Jill came down with $40. Fucking whore!!!!
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?
Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
I tore up my homework, but then I replaced it with this copy. It may look like it, but trust me, it's different! The answers ARE RIGHT, better than left!
Joker gives Batman a phone.
Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."
Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"