Ups jokes
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?
A cold shoulder.
Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
Memes
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:
"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. π
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?
Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize itβs half empty.
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.