Ups jokes

Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!

What's the definition of disgusting?

Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!

What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?

They always line up.

Why do orphans love tornadoes? Because they always pick you up!

There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.

Why don’t she stand up for herself?

How do you make an orphan shut up?

You tell his mom.

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.

What's the different when a little boy drops in Japan then and now?

When a little boy falls today he gets back up. But then everyone fell and never came back up.

What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!

They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.

Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.

Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.

He really shook things up today.

Why did the rapper oil up his notepad?

In case he needed to DROP some FREESTYLE NOTES!

I got sent to the principal's office for telling the kid in the wheelchair to stand up for himself.

Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.

When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.

What went up but never came down?

Stephen Hawking's IQ.

What is 6 inches tall when bricked up and is loved by women?

A strong man’s biceps.

I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

Your mama is so stupid she stayed up all night so she can get some sleep.

Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.

The longer the relationship, the longer the breakup will hurt you. Better break up now ooo.🤣

Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?

Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.