Ups jokes
How do you make an orphan shut up?
You tell his mom.
Shup up, transparent hairline. Look like you got splashed by some clear soap.
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
Did you hear about the bad joke? No? It hasn't been made up yet. HAHAHAHAHAHA
Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.
Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.
Hairline look like it got slapped up by Will Smith.
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
I got sent to the principal's office for telling the kid in the wheelchair to stand up for himself.
Your mama is so stupid she stayed up all night so she can get some sleep.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.
When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.
What is 6 inches tall when bricked up and is loved by women?
A strong man’s biceps.
Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?
He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.
I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.
It showed a picture of myself.
A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?
She ended up under the doc[tor].
What do you call the sky? Up high, high! AHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA
"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"
Mommy, Mommy! Are we werewolves?
Shut up and comb your face.