Ups jokes

Why is a giraffe's neck so long?

Because his head is so high up in the air.

EVERYONE:

"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"

Why do Indian people have bad tempers? Because when they were growing up, their parents told them they couldn't have a cow, so they threw a tantrum instead.

I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.

Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, “I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty!”

Shame on you, Pessi!

What's up?

A rocket from NASA.

OMG SO FUNNYY!

Where’s the English Channel?

Johnny: “I don’t know. My television doesn’t pick it up.”

What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?

Paul Walker's death.

You're so ugly, your mother thought about setting you up for adoption.

You may not like me, but you still look up to me.

SHUT UP EVERYBODY!

Everyone, Alya is okay!!!!!!!!!! She got up, she can walk, and she can talk regular!!!!

An orphan was playing with a famous baseball player. The baseball player walks up to him and says, "Dude, I gotta teach you." The orphan goes, "Why? I got all your moves down." The baseball player goes, "But kid, you can never find home, though."

I killed myself, then woke up.

Alright ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! Have a good fucking life, I hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever I've passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beef, I'll fight u bro, ur prob a stick, I'm fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.

Don’t cut yourself up about it.

Q: Why do birds need feathers?

A: To cover up their butt quack!

A woman walked up to me and asked me for a joke. I stood there with a straight face knowing women can't be funny.

370HSSV 0773H wait, you're reading it upside down.

Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.

Why did the booty break up with the fart?

It was just too much GASLIGHTING.