Ups Jokes

Yes, sir

Four big guys and they grab on my thighs Blow up my guts like the 4th of July If they keep fuckin' my butt then I might just cry Poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes

He lick my dick and the cum start sprayin' Charging up my dick I'ma go super saiyan When he cum the fuckin' booty I don't do much playing Then I whispered in his ear, like hey are you stayin' He said yeah I'm not leavin'

I guess he George Floyd, cause always leavin' Not breathin' he chew on my dick like a baby That's teathin' I'm fuckin' a nigga I think it's named Steven Hawkin f*ck him 'til he ain't walkin', dick stone-cold call him BBC Austin It's a booty massacre when I visit him in Boston Bought him new titties I don't care what they costin'

Bitch, hop on the dick do a split Shout out Lil Baby My dick is as real as it gets, I'm not fuckin' On him if he don't have tits I'm catchin' his balls like my name Kyle Bitz

There's four Big guys, they're grabin' on my thighs They blow my guts like the 4th of July If he keep fuckin' my butt then I might cry There's poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes

Yes sir, that is a fact tho, take out my dick slip it in his asshole Swinging my dick through the air like a lasso Painted his face like Apollo Pocasso (ugh) But I'm not a very good artist, f*ck 'em all good 'til that Nigga farted planted my seeds in his ass like a garden The way I play with balls, you should call me James Harden

Yeah, DigBar is elite, there's four big guys and I'm takin' their meat I eat the boy's butt, Then I chase him with skeet And I charge for booty, I promise DigBar Isn't cheap And I count dudes when I sleep, not sheep, get up in my sheets And I'm beatin' on my meat

Bitch We got four big guys and they grab on my thighs And they gon' bust on my eyes

i’ve tryed to like all of your jokes they are funny 😆 and joshisboss you are awesome keep up the good work 👍🏻

jimmy does stand up comedy he says “what do you call an orangutang”

jake replies “YOU” then everyone including the teacher laughs jimmy cries

LOL

i had to stop drinking because i got tired of waking up in my car driving 90

I read a sign what it meant to say is you matter don't give up what I read was you don't matter give up

Ever heard of account stealing? Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?"

dad: "honey ill be right back i need to get some papers " me: "ok" falls asleep.. *wakes up in an adoption center* damn it was those kind of papers..

RAPE 9/11 ABORTION ORPHAN MURDER DEAD KILL DRUGS what makes all these categories so familiar? either you've experienced them, or made them up in your backstory.

What's the definition of suspicious.....,,A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field 💀

Son: Daddy, what's dark humor? Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap. Son: But Daddy, I'm blind. Dad: Exactly.

I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy he started crying and I said stand up for you self

An orphan comes up to me and says your ugly I said you remind me of SpiderMan SpiderMan no way home.

Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.

One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair

My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on EBay, The Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.

Freddy: Im coming for u >:)

Me:god no help

*game notification pops up with very loud sound*

btw friend here also wants to do suicide

friend:why did i cross the road??? me:to get to the other side. friend:true!

friend:hey lets go hang out at the forest today! me:ok *grabs ropes for the both of us and rushes outside bc this is a lucky day* friend:hey atleast we did it!

friend:whats the best thing about me? me:you will eventually end. friend:hmmmmmm . . . true!

friend:what historical time influenced you the most? me:the great depression

if i could be an object id be glass because im see through and i can shatter with the minimum difficulty immediately!

my parents sometimes say im their sunshine! . . . because im painful if you look at me.

teacher:what does km/s mean? me+like almost all of the class:*in unison* it means kill myself but misspelled

friend:whats the best way to end a game? me:with death friend: . . . hmmm now that you think about it yeah! thats the best way!

when your about to jump down a cliff but you realize that you cant litter there

google says that your about 75% water but im make of 101% depression 101% anxiety 101% suicidal 101% stress

brain be like will_to_live.exe, happiness.exe, and many more others not found also you have now got crippling_depression.exe, anxiety.exe, suicide_thoughts.exe, suicide_attempts, and stressful_life.exe so so so much many more

how do you keep weeds away? just put a bucket of crippling depression and suicidal thought and attempts in the soil and then they just kill themselves. problem solved.

when you take antidepressants but they dont work it will just make you more depressed and thats a fact

a bored depressed suicidal person:*sees a dying person* dying person:p-l-pls c-c-c-call m-me a-an amb-b-bulancccee *wheeze* *dies* bored depressed suicidal person:hmmmm ur an ambulance dying person:*manages to get back up* bored depressed suicidal person:oooooohh goddddd dying person:*in a demonic tone* BUT NOT FOR ME~

roses are red inside im dead i have crippling depression some one pls shoot my head

when you finally open up to a person who you think will care and understand but it turns out that they dont you:*panickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanicking*

the only time you should lift your spirits up is when your gonna hang yourself

a made up story starting now so i went to school as usual theres a school shooting all the depressed suicidal people:*crave death* *walks up to shooter* all say KILL ME a made up story starting ending

in this one the friend isnt suicidal friend:wanna play a game? me:life wait no a game has a meaning friend: . . . *crickets* friend:calls suicide hotline me:wait no!!!!!

me:*has crippling depression* *asks mom why i was born* mom:hmmm i think i was drunk and on a lotta drugs me:hmmm tysm *gets the rope* mom:*making hanging puns* me:*hurries to the trash truck*

me:at this point ive lived about a decade depressed and suicidal that i dont struggle with it now, im good at it and its all normal

hope you enjoyed

i saw a depressed kid and i gave him a lamp to lighten up his day

A poor person came up to me and said your ugly i said you remind me of SpiderMan SpiderMan no way home

It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.

Rizz

Are you a dinosaur? Because I want to blow you up.