Ups jokes
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
Why was the rapper always in shape?
Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!
Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.
“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"
“Yes," replied Hodja.
“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.
Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.
The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.
“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"
“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."
So you're offended by midget jokes? C'mon, grow up!
What's so special about Palestinian sex dolls?
They blow themselves up.
Why did the rapper take up gardening?
Because they wanted to GROW their FLOW.
How do you know if a rapper is lying?
His rhymes don't add up.
"BlessedBrian" is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads him, but somehow he KEEPS SHOWING UP.
I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to mix up some beats!
What did the rapper say to his microwave?
"Yo, heat it up, fam!"
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he was always COOKING UP RHYMES!
Why did the rapper oil up his notepad?
In case he needed to DROP some FREESTYLE NOTES!
What did the rapper say to the SANDWICH?
"Wrap it up!"
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
What did the rapper say to his shoes?
"You better lace up!"
"What do you want to eat?"
"You choose."
"Children."
"What?"
*Picks up pot*
"You said anything!"
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"