Two jokes
The doctor told me I was so retarded, I was required to ride two wheelchairs.
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal-sized eyes.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...
I was two tired.
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.