Two jokes
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
The doctor told me I was so retarded, I was required to ride two wheelchairs.
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal-sized eyes.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.