Turn

Turn jokes

These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.

My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

I have a better version of this joke.

How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.

The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.

A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.

The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.

I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.

What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?

I don’t turn on a light switch.

Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.

A bird was on a branch at school today. I turn away to talk to my friends, and another bird was there when I turned around. I turn around again, and the birds are having fucking sex!!!

What the fuck.

Now I've seen everything.

I was listening to some Drake in class.

My teacher shouted to turn it off. She then exclaimed that "Drake is mid and his music is very Pessi!" I didn’t understand the meaning until I checked the dictionary and realised it is a synonym for overrated.