Turn jokes
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
Your lips are so big, it turns the Grand Canyon sideways.
Nemo turned emo and changed his movie name to "Finding Emo."
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.
The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.
I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on a monster truck she turned it into a lowrider.
Are you a printer? Because you turn my soft copy into a hard copy. Dark..Humor :)
Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!
What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?
I don’t turn on a light switch.
what happens when the president turns emo?
the great depression.
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
A bird was on a branch at school today. I turn away to talk to my friends, and another bird was there when I turned around. I turn around again, and the birds are having fucking sex!!!
What the fuck.
Now I've seen everything.
I was listening to some Drake in class.
My teacher shouted to turn it off. She then exclaimed that "Drake is mid and his music is very Pessi!" I didn’t understand the meaning until I checked the dictionary and realised it is a synonym for overrated.
Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.
Your hairline is so bad that it turned Wonder Woman into Failure Man.
In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.
Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."