Try jokes
What's a energy drink orphans never tried? "Mother".
Try not to <3.
How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
I tried to have phone sex once.
But the holes were too small.
So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
Fortnite is so bad that when you try to play, trash is always in your way. LOL
The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.
Ebay is so useless. I tried searching up lighters, and all they had was 13,749 matches.
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.
The only thing the orphan learned from his dad is the hide-and-seek skill to hide for 18 years. He tried it out; now he has infinite milk.
So the other day I saw a homeless man. He tried to mug me. I let him.
I had nothing on me either. (I'm on the next block over.)
I tried phone sex once, lost my bits to a stray "call waiting" beep. Very painful. Never again.
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'