Try jokes

A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.

The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!

I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.

We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.

Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?

Fortnite is so bad that when you try to play, trash is always in your way. LOL

I tried to have phone sex once.

But the holes were too small.

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

Ebay is so useless. I tried searching up lighters, and all they had was 13,749 matches.

Why was the people's wedding so miserable...

'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.

The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"

When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."

Is it bad to hit an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.

I tried to eat a clock the other day.

It was very time consuming.

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project, but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed.

I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"

My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.