Try jokes

Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.

Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?

I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.

I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project, but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed.

The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.

Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.

When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,

You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"

Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"

I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.

We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.

The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!

I tried to have phone sex once.

But the holes were too small.

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

Fortnite is so bad that when you try to play, trash is always in your way. LOL

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.

Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?

What's a energy drink orphans never tried? "Mother".

Try not to <3.