Try jokes
So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.
After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?
Did you hear about the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well, the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
Stephen Hawking died because he tried downloading a free version of Windows 10.
Yo mama so fat, she fell in love with a skinny dude and tried to hug him but crushed him.
Q: Why did the chip run away?
A: His saucy friend tried to jizz on him.
What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"
Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave.
Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work.
Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.
I finally got my wife to shut up.
Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!
Why are there no women in the NFL?
Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.
Why did Sally get a black eye?
Because she tried to play patty cake.
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.