Trip jokes
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"
Why can't orphans go on a field trip?
They need their parents' permission. 😆😆😆😆😆😆
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
Zozo went to the store and walked out with nothing, why?
Zozo the hobo is a hobo, remember? He doesn’t have any money.
Why did Zozo the hobo cross the road?
To eat the Pringles.
Three copycats on a boat, one jumps off. How many are left? Zero, because they're copycats!
Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.
When you're Russian to the bathroom, and when you're finished you're from Finland, what are you when you are IN the bathroom?
European.
Give Kobe a plane ticket, he'll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
I'M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!
What time is it when you walk walk? Time to trip and fall!
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.
After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."
So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Why did the Pikachu say "Pi"??
He had to use the bathroom!
An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.
"I will see her in one week!"
A week later, he died.
Where did Johnny go during the bombing?
Everywhere.