Trip jokes
Dad: How was your trip to the park?
Daughter: It was good until the man came along.
Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?
Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...
Dad: Oh God, what next?
Daughter: Nothing, that was it.
Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
How did Sally get a free trip to Hawaii? She washed up on shore.
My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.
Yo mama is so dumb, she wanted to get some ice, but she went to Antarctica and actually got ice and brought wilt cream! 🤣
Why can't orphans go on school field trips? Parent Signature: _______
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Tri-tip!
Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield?
Everywhere.
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.
Where did the moon go to space? To the moon!
Where do Down syndrome kids go shopping downtown?
Anyone who makes fun of Prof should go to hell.
I went to the store, and yeah...
The duck bought lipstick. When he paid, he said, "Put it on my bill."
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.