I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
1. why did the teenage girls travel in odd numbered groups? because they can't get even 2.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
Why did the rapper go to space?
To drop some COSMIC RHYMES
Back To The Future-Doc: You can time travel to anytime in HISTORY Marty but NEVER go to the year 2021.....
When you got on an airplane the flight attendant asked which hairline you were flying with.
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off
Hairline so big people had to time travel to find the end of it
Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say. By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving. I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes. During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up. Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
I invented a time traveling machine and travelled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid, they told me, "it wasn't an asteroid...it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct". Tears ran down my face. Shame on you Pessi!
daughter:where was i born Dad:Alabama daughter :that is nice mum:We have never been to Alabama Dad:RUN
An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country”. The Asian man says “I’m here travelling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of friend rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong
So one day, I took a trip to Russia, and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any body guards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days. After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I had said yes, and the officer said god help us. So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent, and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said. I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy. He said we did, and that we were extremely drunk.
Three friends were stuck in the desert they were struggling and trying to find food when. A they found a magical lamp the rubbed it and out came a genie and genie says "each of you friends get to have one wish" so the first friend said I wish to go home same as the second one the third friend said " I'm lonely I wish my friends were with me"
Q: Why did the islamic chicken cross the road? A: To get to the airport
Gwen we can chat in 2 mounths my aunt just died from covid and is talking forever for us too get there to californa I love you your boyfriend prince!
what does we call a skeleton who has a ton of travels. a skele-TON
What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?
He used a bus.
Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.
I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!
