Travel jokes
Time to go to New York to visit the Twin Towers.
Theyβre already getting closer.
Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?
Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.
Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.
Where did George go?
Washington, D.C.
What's the worst time to fly a plane?
My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.
Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.
Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girlβs skirt.
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
I think our destination is under there.
Under where?
You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.
Why can't orphans go on field trips? Parents' signature: _______
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
"What's the wifi password?"
"121i362"
"It's not working."
"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"
"The United Airline."
"We're in the World Trade Center, though."
What is a Karen called in Europe?
An American.