Travel jokes
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
You are able to travel to the anime world, believe me, Michael Jackson did it.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
Hairline so big people had to time travel to find the end of it.
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.
Time to go to New York to visit the Twin Towers.
They’re already getting closer.
Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?
Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.
Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.
Where did George go?
Washington, D.C.
What's the worst time to fly a plane?
My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.
Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.
Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt.
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
I think our destination is under there.
Under where?
You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.